jurassic park: the musical?

Apparently they’re planning a stage musical version of Sleepless in Seattle.  My God, why?

The author of that EW post suggests that if the powers that be insist on adapting early-90’s movies as musicals, at least pick decent ones, like Jurassic Park.  You know what?  I could totally get behind Jurassic Park: The Musical.  Think big dinosaur puppets a la Lion King.  Wouldn’t that be the most awesome thing ever?  In fact, I’m kind of surprised this doesn’t exist already, if only in online movie parody form.

What moments from that movie would make great songs?  Here’s what I’ve got so far.

  • “Get’cha Head in the Jeep”: Lex and Tim’s High School Musical style number about the T-Rex trying to rip open their jeep with his mouth.
  • “A Man’s Gotta Do”: Dennis’s song to steel his nerves while carrying out his evil embryo-stealing plot, which has been rewritten to involve controlling a van via remote control.  Embryos: do not bounce.
  • “Velociraptor Love Medley”: A flirtatious duet between Alan and Ellie while they flee the man-eating dinosaurs.  “Love is all you need!”  “A dino’s got to eat!”
  • “Defying Gravity”: An ensemble number in which the cast rejoices about their escape from the island via helicopter.

 Okay, okay, I’m done.