the office 5×18: blood drive

A Valentine’s Day episode in March?  Erm… okay.  It’s like last fall when Life aired the episode “Black Friday” the week before Thanksgiving.  Time in television land does not work quite the same as time in the real world.

Anyway, after a failed attempt at something resembling a support group, all the single folks in the office (so, everyone except Jim, Pam, Phyllis, and Stanley) decided to have a mixer, which allowed us the joy of watching Kevin and Dwight try to chat up women.  Dwight appears to be turned on by women who use a lot of paper.

Meanwhile, Jim and Pam took a long and incredibly awkward couples lunch with Phyllis and Bob Vance.  Don’t you love how rarely anyone in this workplace comedy actually works?  Phyllis and Bob disappeared for a suspiciously long time and, to the surprise of no one but Jim and Pam, turned out to be locked in the handicapped bathroom going at it like rabbits.

Michael had gone to give blood earlier in the episode (thus the title) and flirted adorably with another woman in the process of being pricked, but missed his opportunity to get her name or contact info when he passed out.  Michael, I feel your pain; not only am I too squicky about needles to actually give blood myself, I have to look away from the TV screen whenever anyone is being pricked for anything.  Anyway, he picked up a glove that she’d left behind, and then lurked around the office, hoping she might show up at their mixer (they’d put fliers on people’s cars and stuff).  As the party fizzled, he confessed his new crush to the others, who immediately rallied around him – “she could be your soul mate!”  She didn’t show, but it was great to see Michael at least attempt to get back in the saddle post-Holly.

I’d like to think we may not have seen the last of blood-drive girl… but then, Holly herself is supposed to reappear in the season finale.  And that, my friends, will be some must-see TV.


  • Dwight: “I’ve trained my major blood vessels to retract into my body on command.  Also, I can retract my penis into itself.”
  • Jim: “I have a lot of work to do this afternoon.  Those mines aren’t going to sweep themselves.”
  • Dwight: “Lonely people mixing with each other, breeding, creating an even lonelier generation?  You’re not letting natural selection do its work.  You’re like that guy who invented the seatbelt.”
  • Michael: “You don’t deserve her.”
    Dwight [heartfelt]: “Thank you.”


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